Rinse Upon a Time
"Rinse Upon a Time" is the 4th episode of Devious Butlers. Summary With his first break in the case having been a dud, Joe turns back to Tyson in an attempt to get him to delve deeper into his memories to see if he can pluck out a clue that will allow them to decipher the circumstances surrounding Jose's death. This isn't the only past delved into, however, for Liz's old wounds are reopened as it is discovered that she has something of a history with Rena's agent. Meanwhile, Justine's affection for Ben appears to be zigzagging all over the place, to his dismay, and Josh and Matthew take a little trip to try and "pray the gay away". Plot 'Teaser' With his cell phone raised to his ear, Rena can be seen nodding inside the kitchen of the Davis house, getting lost in what the person on the other line is saying as the camera whizzes around his head and he reminds himself on just how much he's always wanted to be a star… We come off of the back of baby Rena's head as the hospital nurse joyously places him into a cot, reading the name tag off his ankle and seeing the star drawn next to the word Duarte. "Renato Duarte," she reads, "clearly you were born to be a star." We come off of the back of a teenage Rena's head as, in high school, he's just finished performing his renowned rendition of Hamlet. He is still holding the skull as his theater teacher tells him, "Renato Duarte, you were born to be a star!" He smiles at this. We come off of the back of adult Rena's head as he sits on a bus entering into America from the airport. An immigration officer steps aboard once the bus is pulled over, asking Rena who he is and what his business is in the United States. He hands them his passport and passionately explains, "I'm Renato Duarte, and I'm here to become a star!" Back in the present, Rena says, "Thank you, Yas," apparently on the phone with his agent, who's been less than talkative of late, "good to hear you're on your way." "Don't you worry, Rena darling, I'm gonna make you a star!" she promises from her car phone. "So I keep hearing," he tells her. He then hangs up, at which point Justine enters the kitchen. "Making a personal call in your work hours?" she questions, to which he replies, "Didn't I see you taking money out of Liz's purse last week?" She goes silent and simply walks out of the room, at which point Liz descends the stairs after having just woken up. "Could you start a pot of coffee?" she asks her butler, "I'd make Justine do it, but she only ever makes French Roast, and I prefer the Colombian brand you use." "You know I would, but I have a meeting with my agent, and she's gonna be here very soon," Rena apologizes, and Liz says, "You have an agent? Cute. What's less cute is that I'm gonna have to drink that maid's French swill, but still." "You're not mad?" he wonders, to which she reminds him, "We're friends now, remember? Why would I be mad?" "Well I was just worried things would be awkward between us after… you know… you made me call you 'Mistress' and…" "I remember," Liz stops him, "ish. I was very drunk, you know how it is. And things don't have to be awkward if we just… don't allow them to. Okay?" "Okay," he agrees. "So," she continues, changing the subject, "who's this agent of yours?" "You probably wouldn't know her," Rena assures, "she's pretty small potatoes compared to your circle. Yas Belich?" Liz goes suddenly silent, though Rena takes no notice of it because suddenly the horn of a car honks from outside. "That'll be her now," he realizes, heading for the door. "Sorry again about your coffee," he adds as he exits the house. Liz is somewhat catatonic, merely staring out the kitchen window as her butler enters into his agent's car. She sees Yas smiling behind the driver's seat, and a look of scorned recognition etches itself upon the rich actress' face. DEVIOUS BUTLERS 'Act I' Outside the Davis house, with Rena and Yas having gone, Justine is seen making her way to the car, on her way out to pick up some groceries. Ben, working outside at the Del Barrios', sees her from his view and believes this to be the perfect opportunity to go see her. "Justine," he calls out, gaining her attention, but she is clearly not ready for his presence. She hurries to the car and tries to get in to leave, but she accidentally drops the keys, giving Ben just enough time to approach. "Hey," he exclaims, grinning, to which Justine replies the same, though with less enthusiasm. He sees the keys on the ground and goes to pick them up for her, pointing out the obvious that she had dropped them. "Thanks you..." Justine says, simply wanting for this meeting to come to an end. Ben, meanwhile, has been thinking; he wonders if she'd like to see a movie with him this evening. "I... is busy with work for Mrs. Liz. Check the rain?" she replies, to Ben's disappointment as she goes to get in the car. "Well anytime you're available," he exclaims, "I just wanna see you." But Justine wishes otherwise; she asks Ben what it is he is doing, to which he awkwardly replies that he was trying to get a date out of her. "After that kiss, I--" But she cuts him off. "That kiss was a mistake," Justine makes clear, "Apologies if that gave you some hope or made you believe that anything was going to change, but truly, I can't be with you right now." "But the things you said--" "Forget things I said!" she demands, "I'm stupid and dumb for saying those things. Now, Ben, goodbye." With that, Justine gets into her car and closes the door behind her, proceeding to drive off, leaving Ben alone and distraught. Josh is standing by the Winters' door, next to a pile of suitcases, as Matthew descends the stairs and Joanna waits nearby, staring out at all the new furniture that’s been put in following the recent surge of the sprinklers. "No need to hurry on my account," Josh snidely exclaims, "you're only blackmailing me into trying to change one of the fundamental things that make me me." "So glad you're taking it well," Matthew replies, largely ignoring his butler and turning to his wife, who asks, "Do you have to go?" "Are you going to miss me, my dear?" he wonders, to which she replies, "I'll miss your credit card more… plus you're taking away the only person I know who can culpably remove a wine stain, and you know how many of those I produce." Again, he largely ignores what's been said to him and tells Joanna, "It'll be like the week before our wedding, do you remember?" "Sure…" she replies, "what did we do again?" "Like you don't remember," he chuckles, "we spent the week apart, so as to make our wedding night more special." "Talking about sex in front of the guy you're essentially trying to castrate with summer camp. Of freakin' course," Josh moans. "Right, of course we did that… and our wedding night was great," she tells him. "Um, you got sick…" he reminds her, to which she simply says, "Oh. I meant the wedding. That was great." "Indeed," Matthew smiles, "do you remember what you said to me up at the altar?" "Who cares?!" Josh screeches while Joanna simply replies, "I said a lot of things that day." "You said, 'Matthew, you are the love of my life, and I never wanna be apart again for as long as we both shall live'," he tells her, "and, from that moment forward, I vowed that I would change myself; to be that man you deserved." "Well haven't you just done a bang-up job?" Josh comments sarcastically and Matthew rolls his eyes, turning to his butler and saying, "Bitchiness. A common trait in you gays. Hopefully they'll whoop that out of you where we're going. Now load the bags into the car." "I'' have the put them in the car?" Josh questions. "Well you are the one driving us," Matthew points out. "I'm driving?!" Josh screams, and Matthew reminds him that he is his butler, as well as his chauffeur, then tossing him the keys to the car. While Josh heads outside to go scratch the paintwork on his employer's Bentley, Matthew turns his attention back to his wife yet again and tells her, "Camp Straightwater ''is how I'm gonna better myself for you, my sweet… by saving Josh's soul." "Of course," she nods, and he suggests that, in the meantime, she brush up on their wedding album; "I know all your drinking often makes you forget, and I largely ignore that because, well, I'm an enabler when it comes to things non-gay, but I do dread the thought of our more cherished memories slipping your mind." "Don't worry," Joanna assures him, "go to Camp Straightwater, and when you come back, I will be here waiting for you… probably passed out drunk, not gonna lie. Also I think this whole thing is stupid but my morning martini has pretty much dulled my ability to care." "That's my girl," Matthew says before kissing her, on the cheek, and then leaving. Outside, Josh loads a suitcase into the trunk and then takes a swig from a small bottle of alcohol, amid the many which currently fill his travel bag. "Thank you, Joanna," he murmurs, before finishing the thing out of Matthew's sight and then continuing his job. Set in Meghan Jepsen's trailer, Joe waits on a filthy old sofa, sipping tea from a little cup from the standout tea set that's out on the coffee table. It's perhaps the nicest thing in the whole trailer. Soon enough, Meghan re-enters the room, this time with a man in a suit and tie, toting a briefcase. "Joseph, I'd like you to meet Mr. Bradley Sonya," she exclaims, as Joe puts down his cup of tea to stand up and shake the man's hand. "I've hired him as our new lawyer for Tyson's case." "It's nice to meet you," Brad says to Joe, "Mrs. Jepsen has told me a lot about you." Meghan motions for everyone to have a seat on the sofa or in one of the equally filthy chairs set in the room; the men do so, albeit reluctantly. She tells Joe that initially she hadn't bothered finding a lawyer because of how much it would cost, but with Joe's plan of investigating the Del Barrios she was certain they'd have a good case now. "So sweetie, what information have you dug up so far?" she asks. Joe is a bit awkward about the question, especially given that Meghan is now putting in what little money she has on this lawyer; however, he knows he must be honest. "Nothing," he admits, to Meghan's shock. "Come again?" she says in turn, to which Joe states that so far he hasn't been able to come up with much, exclaiming that the Del Barrios are not easy people to sneak around on. "However, I can assure you there most certainly is something going on in that house." "But you have no suspect yet?" Brad wishes to clarify. "Well there was one... but it was kind of a dud." Joe admits. Disappointed, Meghan uses her hands to cover her face, ever so losing more and more hope. "Look, I promise to find out more soon," Joe pleads to Meghan and Brad, "I just... need more time." "And here we are, Casa Del Yaaaaas Bitch!" Yas announces as she leads Rena into her ratty office. "Wow," he comments, never having seen it before, "it's…" he goes to say an adjective and then notices a drop of water fall from the ceiling, and so he just finishes up with, "uh-huh." "Well don't just stand there like a big Spanish lump! Take a seat," Yas insists as she goes behind her desk, blowing dust (or coke, as the case may very well be) off of the little name plaque which reads "Yas Belich" before placing it back on the desk. "I'm actually Portuguese," Rena says as he sits opposite her, on a chair that squeaks when his butt touches it, but she tells him that that's not what she told the casting people when she sent his name and face out to all the contacts she's got. "Oh… well, did I get any positive feedback?" Rena asks optimistically, to which Yas replies, "Absolutely! I could get you a part in Sleepless in Sicily 2," she says, reading from a sheet, and Rena looks incredibly excited, but then she amends herself to say, "Oh, no, sorry. This is Sleeping with Sicily 2… I guess it's the porn parody. Still, the director must think you have a great look." "I'm… not really interested in doing porn," Rena tells her, "I know… people, who've delved in that, and then regretted it." "Are you sure?" Yas asks, "'Cause I could cut you a real sweet deal if you agree to bang this Sicily chick on film." "I'm afraid it's a 'no'," Rena tells her, and she then balls up what we now see is a blank sheet of paper before tossing it into the trash. "Anything else?" he wonders, but she says that if he isn't willing to do mid-core porn then the rest of what she has in store probably isn't for him either. Rena sighs, wondering if that's it, "Meeting over?", but she assures him, "No! Not necessarily." "What do you mean?" Rena demands, and she tells him, "If you were willing to pay me a little more… maybe I'd be able to get you some real parts. Start sending things overseas, getting past real Hollywood security…" "I… don't really see how that works," Rena tells her, but she tells him, "Trust me, it works. If you cut me a check, I'll be sure to get you a part in a real movie. Honey, it's a sure thing." "I don't have my checkbook on me," Rena reveals, but she tells him that that's okay and that he can just use one of hers. "I'm not sure you can do that," he says, but she assures him that, while she doesn't know how things go down in Spain or whatever, in the state of California he indeed can, and he just shrugs and takes the empty check she offers him, along with a pen. "So," he says, "how much do you want?" "Oh, sweetie, that's not where the amount goes," she tells him, laughing at where he's currently hovering the point of the pen, "that's where you write the last four digits of your credit card number, so that the bank teller can access your account." "Oh," Rena murmurs, unsure, and Yas tells him, "As soon as you cut that thing, you are gonna be just days away from being a real star!" Wanting this more than anything, Rena foolishly begins to write. Out in the back of the Winters' mansion, Joanna lies across a chair by the pool, tanning. With her is Alison Del Barrio, and in between the two women is a table set up with two glasses and a wine bottle. As Joanna sits up to fill her own, she comments on how nice it's been without Matthew around the house. "So much unnecessary negativity is just... gone." She downs the glass. Ali tells her friend that she's glad she seems to be having a good time with the house all to herself, to which Joanna states that it's been more than just a good time. She then looks at the wine bottle as it nears empty. "Josh," she calls, "fetch another from the cellar?" But she then realizes Josh isn't there either. There's a moment of awkwardness, as Joanna is slightly embarrassed in front of Ali to have called out and for no one to answer; Ali sees this and consoles her friend. "I can get you another bottle if you want," she offers, but Jo shakes her head. "No, we'll just finish off this one first, it's no big deal." She then notices, however, that not once has Ali's glass been filled. "You gonna have any?" Joanna wonders, to which Ali shrugs her shoulders. "Jorgio, he doesn't really like for me to drink." Jo nearly chokes, asking that she repeat herself. Ali explains that Jorgio prefers he be the one to drink and that she stand by so that there's someone sober to take care of him. "It's fine, I don't really mind," but Joanna sure does. She takes Ali's unfilled glass and pours to the rim. "Drink," she demands, handing her friend the glass. "No, I really shouldn--" "It wasn't really an offer, honey. Now drink." Ali, reluctantly, starts to put the glass to her lips and down the contents of it. Finding this to be too slow, Joanna gently tips the glass some so that the wine pours quicker down her friend's throat. Without a break, Ali finishes the wine. "So?" Jo wonders. "My throat, it burns a little," Ali admits. Joanna smiles, stating that that means it's working. She fills the two of them each another glass, handing Ali hers. "Cheers," she exclaims, and she and Ali clink glasses. 'Act II' At the Del Barrio mansion, Joe, Rena and Ben are sat at a table in one of the kitchens, eating a fast-food lunch. "So like, didn't the Del Barrios have some problem with you guys having guests over?" Rena wonders, but Joe and Ben shrug it off, the latter of whom states that Jorgio is away for something work-related while Ali is out with a friend. "Oh, by the way," Joe brings up to Ben, "you were right; I barely even noticed the rattling going on in the house last night." Ben exclaims that that's good to hear, but is a bit awkward after Joe's next comment, wondering if Jose had ever mentioned the noises to him. "Uh, I don't really recall," he admits, and Joe nods, leaving it at that. There's silence for a moment before Rena finally speaks up: "So things have been going well with Yas lately. She should be landing me some auditions any time now." Joe and Ben are happy for their Portuguese friend, but Ben admits that while things may be going well for him, he hasn't exactly been having the greatest luck as of the late. "Ew, please don't tell me you're still on that blonde baguette," Rena exclaims, a comment that Ben chooses to ignore. "I just don't get it," he explains, "I thought things were finally going well with her. She kissed me! Now she's saying she regrets it and I just don't know what to do now." "Move on," Rena suggests, rather bluntly, but Ben argues that it's not that easy. "Well you could try to woo her," Joe suggests, speaking up. Ben wonders if a candlelit dinner wasn't good enough (see "Custodian Horror Story"), but Joe tells him he has to go all out if he really wants to win her over. "Really show her how much she means to you and how you really truly feel about her. If she still doesn't respond well then maybe after that it isn't worth it." "I guess I could try more," Ben admits, and Joe pats him on the back, proud. "How about you shove a snail up her freshly waxed--" "Rena!" Joe and and Ben both exclaim in unison, disgusted at what the fellow butler was about to say about Justine. Rena simply smirks. Looking around though, Ben notices something's off. "Guys, have any of you heard from Josh?" he wonders, having just realized that the fourth butler is missing. Joe and Rena both shrug their shoulders. Josh, meanwhile, is driving he and Matthew past a sign which reads Welcome to Camp Straightwater, wanting to hang his head in shame as he pulls up in the parking lot. "Here we are!" Matthew exclaims enthusiastically. "I know!" Josh exclaims, faking that same enthusiasm, then commenting to himself that it's a wonder he didn't crash considering how tipsy he is. "And this is the prayer room," says one of the straight camp counselors after having given Josh and Matthew the full tour, adding that their dorm is just down the hall there. "Don't you think it's kind of counterproductive to have a bunch of horny gay men sleep in such close quarters to one another?" Josh questions. The counselor is silent for a moment, simply blinking, before finally replying, "The men who come here are making the conscious decision to banish their demonish desires. It is only by overcoming temptations that we can know that these desires have been truly vanquished." "Whatever you say, seems like a great place to pick up guys." "Josh!" Matthew berates, to which he snaps, "What?! You already made me come here, why can't I cum here?" "Sounds like you could use the prayer room," the counselor tells him, before heading off down the hall. "I think I'm gonna go unpack," Matthew tells Josh. "You mean you're leaving me alone with these sad, depraved church-monkeys?" the butler questions, peering into the prayer room to see gay men of all shapes and sizes - bears, twinks, otters - trying in presumable vain to "pray the gay away", as is the camp's slogan. "Just… try and make friends," Matthew says, then fearing the worst and amending himself to say, "or don't. Just… pray, dammit." "In here?" Josh gestures the prayer room, "It looks so cheap and poorly-constructed; like something Adam Horowitz might direct." "That's just offensive to everyone," Matthew assures before finally making his way to his and Josh's dormitory. Josh takes a deep breath in his employer's absence and finally enters the prayer room with the murmuring gays. He closes his eyes and says, "Dear God," but all he can follow it up with is, "this is freakin' stupid." With that, he lifts up his travel bag and opens it up to reveal the tiny bottles of alcohol provided by Joanna. "Hey fellas," Josh exclaims, and the campers all turn to him as he proposes, "wouldn't you rather be doing something a little more… fun?" They raise their eyebrows in intrigue as they catch on to the attractive homosexual currently offering them alcoholic beverages. Liz is standing in the center of her kitchen, arms folded, keenly watching the clock as she awaits her butler's return to the house. Justine happens upon her, mop in tow, and says, "I need to wash that part of floor." However, Liz just tells the maid that she can go away and do whatever, and so Justine just shrugs, wheels the mop bucket to one side and exits the house. The clock keeps on ticking and, finally, Rena opens the door following his meet-up with his fellow butlers, and Liz demands to know, "Where have you been?!" "Um… agent then lunch?" Rena replies, confused, and Liz sighs, admitting, "I have something I need to tell you about that." "About lunch?" "About Yas Belich," Liz tells him, "or, as they call her in the industry: the Yasmanian Devil." "Wait," Rena halts her, "I'm confused. You know Yas?" "That's one way to put it," Liz tells him, to which her butler asks, "What's another?" Closing her eyes in humiliation, Liz beckons Rena to have a seat in the kitchen, and she proceeds to sit opposite him so that they can talk. "Once upon a time, I was roaming the streets of New York City, and got discovered by a talent scout." "I know," Rena recalls. "You already told me this; you got discovered, and then you starred in some low-budget BDSM pornos. What's that got to do with Yas?" "She was the one who discovered me," Liz reveals, to Rena's shock, and she proceeds to explain, "After getting me one job, she tried milking me for everything I was worth, all to feed her disgusting drug habit. They call her 'Devil' 'cause it's like the moment you give her money your accounts become hell. So please tell me you haven't handed over any large amounts of cash…" "Well…" Rena murmurs, and Liz winces. "No," he then states. "No, you didn't give her any money?" "No, I don't believe a word of this," he corrects her, "I mean, what are the odds?! You just can't handle that I might be successful; you just want me to be around to pour your damn Colombian coffee!" "No, Rena, I'm serious; if I hadn't consulted with a real agent, she would have taken everything I had!" "And what do I have?!" Rena screams, in deep denial, then announcing, "I'm not giving up on my dreams just because all yours melted away." "Rena!" she cries, but he just storms up the stairs, heading into his room and slamming the door like a child throwing a tantrum. Liz breathes heavily, needing her butler to believe what she's telling him, and then she notices that in all his commotion he left his phone behind on the kitchen island. She picks it up and, to her joy, within moments, Yas starts calling. She answers it and attempts to mimic Rena's Portuguese accent, starting with, "Hai." "Hey bitch! Just lettin' you know I got your name out to some real swanky people! I may need one of your checks soon if I'm to make everything happen for real, but you're cool with that, right?" "Yaaaaas, bitch," Liz replies. "Rena? Summit wrong with your voice?" Yas wonders. "No, aim joost Spinich," she replies boomingly, and Yas says, "A'ight. Well I gotta go." "Wait!" Liz screeches, still trying her best at that accent, and then she asks Yas if she'd like to have dinner with him and his boss at his place that night so that they can discuss things properly. "Sure," Yas replies without really thinking and, when she hangs up, Liz smiles from within the Davis kitchen, clearly planning something devious. Yas, meanwhile, just marvels at the fact that she's going to be milking this cow dry and still get a free dinner tonight on top of that. Justine, meanwhile, is halfway down Fanon Drive what she gets a call from Rena. At first, she rolls her eyes, then deciding against her better judgment to answer it. To her surprise, Liz is on the other end, telling her to get back there because she needs her to prepare a dinner for three people tonight. Justine grumbles angrily. Meanwhile, at the Wikerly Federal Prison, Joe takes a seat at the see-through screen in the visitors' room as he waits. Soon enough, Tyson is carted in and sits across with the glass remaining between him and his foster brother. The two men both pick up a respective wall phone, greeting one another; Joe, from there, however, decides to get straight down to business. "So as it turns out, whole thing with Joanna Winters turned out to be quite a dud. There's no way she's the killer." Tyson frowns, wondering if Joe has any idea what he plans to do next, stating that prison is becoming more and more uncomfortable as the days go by. "Them guys are still pickin' on me. They'ont listen when I tell them to leave me be." Joe isn't really listening as Tyson rambles, though; he's more thinking about any possible clues there may have been so far. And so far there's not been many. "Tyson," he finally exclaims, interrupted his rambling friend, "I need you to dig deep, deep into your memories right now. Is there something, ANYTHING that could be helpful?" But Tyson is still of hardly any help. "But are you trying?!" Joe asks, rather frustrated, "Prison is prison and it sucks, but that's not our main concern right now. Our main concern is finding out who really killed Jose and getting you out of here. PLEASE, try for me here." Tyson, rather uncomfortable by Joe's sudden outburst tells him that he's becoming scared. But Joe simply rolls his eyes. "Why am I even trying?" he asks himself, out loud. "I... I'm sorry," Tyson exclaims, to which Joe tells him in turn to call him when he makes himself useful. With that, he hangs up the phone, gets up and leaves. At the Davis house, Rena and Yas are sat in one of the home's dining rooms, waiting for Liz to join them. "Oh I'm so glad we could meet for dinner, sweet cheeks," Yas exclaims as she has a sip of wine. Rena tells her that he's happy too, and that he simply cannot wait for her to meet his boss. However, as Yas goes to ask who it is Rena works for, the Portuguese butler picks up a bell that had been left on the table and rings it. "Oh, Justine," he calls out in a rather tormenting tone; the French soon makes herself known, dressed in her uniform, unlike her co-worker. "What want you, pig?" she barks at him, "I cook meal for Mrs. Liz." As Rena goes to put in some sort of ludicrous demand to the blonde maid, his, Yas and Justine's attention are all caught by the sound of music coming from the outside of the house. Seeing this as the perfect opportunity to get out of serving Rena, Justine decides to go check and see what's going on... but she doesn't like what she sees. Having made her way outside of the Davis house she finds none other than Ben standing outside, singing to the French maid through a microphone - "I Wanna Be Your Boyfriend" by RAMONES, sung reasonably well to be fair. Behind him is a white van with speakers to amplify the sound for all of Fanon Drive to hear; and to top it all off, he has spent money on choreographed dancers. It's quite a show that's been put on, as Ben (and the dancers) all make Ben's undying love for Justine rather clear. However, she is not impressed; if anything, she's humiliated beyond belief. "Benjamin, what hell is this?!" she demands to know, then proceeding to unplug the speakers in order to put a stop to this madness. "Please, stop this right now!" she demands, proceeding to shoo away the dancers, who all hop back into the van, understanding that things aren't going the way Ben had intended. "Justine, I just wanted you to understand how I feel about you," Ben tries, but Justine shakes her head; she tells him that while she has some lingering feelings it just will not work out. "Yet you keep leading me on," Ben says in turn. "You've told me how you feel, but you still seem to have no problem keeping me under your thumb." "You are wrong entirely. I said I was fine being the friend of you and you said you were okay with that. You can't put this on me. You keep pushing yourself onto me and I've made clear my 'no's." Ben goes quiet, not really knowing how to respond. He understands that perhaps he was coming on a bit too strong and that Justine really has made her desires clear... but forget that. "Justine, come on," he tries. "Let me prove myself to you." And then she smacks him across the face. He's in shock after, as he goes to cover his now-red cheek. From there Justine begins screaming at him in her native tongue, concluding with, "Va te faire foutre!" From there she storms off and back into the Davis house, leaving Ben in absolute shock and heartbreak. Meanwhile though, Rena and Yas have been watching as the whole event has gone down. They stand in the doorway of the dining area, grins on their faces as if they'd like more information. "I need smoke break," is all Justine says to them though, reaching into her dress pocket and pulling out a pack of cigarettes and a lighter. "You smoke?!" Rena asks, in shock to which Justine responds, "I do this night." And she heads to go out the back door. 'Act III' Rena and Yas decide that, if Liz hasn't arrived by now, they may as well start eating the main course without her. "We don't need her anyway," Yas assures, "what even was her name again?" "Liz," Rena responds, then clarifying, "Elizabeth Davis." Yas goes white suddenly, recognizes the name, and then she gets a little jittery, leading Rena to ask her if she's okay. "Sure I am," Yas assures, "let's just eat. After all, you didn't invite me over just to sit here flappin' my gums." "I… didn't invite you over," Rena reveals, confused. "What?" Yas asks, and Rena recalls that Liz told him she invited Yas over as an apology for making up all those stories about her; a way of making peace. "Stories?" Yas questions, "What kind of stories?" "About how you screwed me out of my porn money so that you could pay for a snort-load of cocaine!" Liz exclaims as, finally, she enters the room, fashionably late as always. "Liz…" Yas murmurs awkwardly, "Hey; hey there…" "Wait, you two really do know each other?" Rena questions, and Liz stares Yas in the eye, suggesting, "Why don't you tell the man?" "I don't know what she's told you Rena, she always had kind of a drinking problem," Yas lies, downing a glass of wine that was earlier poured for her by Justine. "Oh, my God…" Rena comes to realize, "Liz, I'm so sorry." "It's fine," she assures, "just as long as you know I'm telling the truth now. This woman is a pile of white-dust-inhaling trash!" "I do believe you," Rena says coldly, staring Yas up and down, and then recalling his meeting with her earlier; he says that he'd better cancel his credit card, wondering where his cell phone is, and Liz, still having a hold of it, throws it to her butler. "Don't do that, Rena," Yas begs. "You'll regret it! I can still make you a star!" Rena looks just the slightest bit hesitant, but then Liz turns to her former agent and states, "I think you're the one who's gonna be full of regrets, darling. In about three… two…" There is a loud knock on the door, followed by the words, "Police! Open up!" "Who could that be at this hour?" Liz asks, fake-shocked, then going to answer the door to a pair of police officers who ask her, "Yas Belich?" "Over here, officers," she says, pointing them in her direction, and the one who knocked proceeds to say Yas' name again before stating that she's under arrest for copious drug possession and numerous reports of credit card fraud. As she's put in handcuffs, crying as the police drag her out the door, Liz comments to herself, "Looks as though the Yasmanian Devil is going to the hellhole where she belongs." "Rena!" Yas cries, "Are you really gonna let this happen to me?!" Rena just stands up and, right before the police close the door, shutting him off from this vile woman forever, he looks straight at her and he says, "Yaaaaas, bitch." Liz smiles as finally the felon from her past is apprehended. Ben is sat outside the Del Barrio mansion, on the front steps, looking glum. He's still depressed over Justine's response to his grand romantic gesture, but he is forced to put this aside when he sees Alison Del Barrio and Joanna Winters stumbling onto the driveway, giggling. "Mkay sweetie, have a good night," Jo says to Ali, the two women completely wasted. They giggle some more and kiss one another on the cheek. "She's all yours," Jo says to Ben as she nudges Ali to him, then stumbling back off to her own home. "Hiiiii Bean," Ali says with the largest, most dopey grin on her face, "I'm like so drunk right now," she says, tripping on one of her heels, leaving Ben to catch her from hitting the ground. He helps her onto the steps so that she can sit down next to him, and the butler asks what's been going on with her. "What's been going on is that I've not felt this alive, well, ever." She then throws up in Ben's lap. "See? Fricken' great!" she exclaims with joy, "More booze, please!" But unlike his employer for once, Ben is not as cheered up and happy, and it doesn't take Ali long to catch onto this. "Aw," she says, her facial expression quickly dropping to an over-exaggerated pity, "what's wrong?" She then gasps. "Did I throw up on you?" But Ben brushes it off; he says that it's whatever and that he's just a little depressed right now, is all. But Ali stands up, stomping her foot and pointing down at him. Trying her best to form a serious face, she says to him, "No! Don't you forget I'm assertive now and I demand you tell me what's wrong." There's a moment of silence though, and Ali soon breaks down into laughter and takes a seat again, hugging Ben's arm. "No but c'mon pour out your heart and soul to me," she says. Seeing that Ali appears to care, and that he should probably talk to someone, Ben starts to explain his situation with Justine and how he was just trying to win her over, only for it to blow up in his face. Ali feels for her servant as she goes on to apologize, deeply, for how things didn't work out for him and Justine. "Well it's not your fault," he says to her, but she replies, "Yes, but I'm just so so so so so so soooooo sorry." And then she passes out on his lap. Ben lets out a sigh as Ali's unconscious self starts to drool on his vomit-covered lap, but his attention is soon diverted when he sees a figure approaching in the nearby distance. It's Justine. Quickly, Ben stands to his feet, gently laying Ali's head onto the steps and brushing the vomit, as best he can, off his crotch. "Justine," he greets, and she appears a bit nervous. "I... I has wanted to say that I'm sorry for how I has spoke with you," she says, "I just has my first cigarette in months after our talk and my head it cleared." Ben is curious as to where this is going, and Justine continues, "No person has ever been so sweet to me, so kind to me, and I am idiot for not treating you so sweet and so kind back." "So what does this mean?" Ben wonders, and Justine finishes, "It means that when I said I was idiot before for kissing you that I was really idiot in that moment. I see that now." And she leans in and kisses him for the second time ever. However, Ali has now woken up and she calls out to them, "Beeeeean," then using her hand to motion the couple away, "you two need to take a few steps back." Ben and Justine look down at the ground and notice they're on the Del Barrio property line. They walk a bit until they're on the public sidewalk, and Ali gives them a thumbs up, proceeding to pass out again. "Anyways," as Justine was saying, "you is what I want, and I know of that now." Ben smiles, and this time he is the one to lean in for the kiss, and this goes on, long and passionately. Ben and Justine are finally canon. "Hey there," Josh says as he enters his and Matthew's dormitory, where Matthew is finally finished getting unpacked. "You've been gone a while," Matthew acknowledges, and Josh reveals that he's been in the prayer room, which he cites as having been very fun. "I knew you'd come around!" Matthew exclaims, "And that's just one of many fun, boner-killing activities Camp Straightwater has to offer! Ooh, what could we check out next?" "Actually," says Josh, "I only came to get you to come with me, back into the prayer room; like I said, it is very fun." "Oh… sure," Matthew nods, "though me and God are pretty solid. I don't think I have much to pray for." "We'll see," Josh tells him with a devious smile. The two of them are next seen having descended the hall, now outside the door to the prayer room where loud music can be heard playing. "What is that?" Matthew wonders, but Josh assures him that it's just to create a peaceful atmosphere. "Doesn't sound very peaceful to me," Matthew says, "sounds like the kind of thing what would be played in some ponce-y gay nightclub. Kinda makes me wanna move to Orlando." Josh brushes this off and reminds his employer of what the counsellor said earlier, that it is only by resisting temptation that we can give in to our desires; "Or… something like that. Now come in." Josh then swings the door open, and Matthew is utterly shocked by what he sees. The prayer room has been turned into some sort of disco. The bottles of alcohol Josh brought with him are now empty and bottled up in one corner, with various gay men dancing, many half or fully nude, to the loud club music emanating from a portable stereo. And some aren't just dancing. It's practically an orgy in here, and Josh smiles at the glory of it all. Matthew, on the other hand, looks utterly horrified. "Oh, my God!" he screams, but Josh tells him snidely that he shouldn't take the Lord's name in vain. "After all," he adds, "the night is dark and full of faggots." "What is this?!" Matthew roars, and Josh tells him, "This, my friend, is Camp Gaywater! Which, I guess is just semen?" "It's awful…" Matthew says as he begins looking around at the lewd men, then spotting two in the corner and exclaiming, "Violence as well as sodomy! Look! That man is repeatedly headbutting that other man in the stomach!" "Yes," Josh replies, rather deadpan, "that is exactly what's happening there." A muscular gay man in a thong gets up and starts dancing on one of the prayer pews, which Matthew is shocked by. Josh takes a dollar bill from out of his pocket and throws it his way, while Matthew storms up to him, screaming, "Now listen here, young ma—" However, before he can finish what he's saying, the thong-bearing gay grabs the back of his head and shoves it into his crotch, rubbing his sweaty, covered member all over the rich man's face. Matthew can't breathe for a second and, when he's finally released, followed by several screams of "Woooooo!" as more people crowd around and dance, he innocently murmurs, "That has never happened to me before…" Josh can't help but burst out laughing. "See, Matthew. Being gay isn't something you can change about a person. It's part of who we are," Josh assures. Several more cries of "Woo!" and then Matthew just plain cries, running from the prayer room in an attempt to retreat back to his bunk. Josh, while part of him wants to run after his boss, decides that the best thing to do for now would be to sit back and enjoy the orgy. Matthew remains hunched over his bed with an open copy of the Bible nearby, midway through a prayer. "…and I give thank you for giving me the continual strength to fight my urges, despite the many temptations that might come my way. I could have indulged myself back there, but I didn't. The feel of that man against my face… Lord, I ask for your guidance. I love my wife more than anything, but I'm simply not attracted to her. I know she's beautiful and yet for some reason I cannot appreciate that. I can only appreciate the beauty of a trim young man This place tells me to 'pray the gay away', and that's exactly what I'm gonna continue to do…" As he continues, getting to the "Amen" part of his confessional prayer, the shot moves over to the door which is open a crack, and we see that Josh, who left the festivities to come talk to his employer, has inadvertently heard the entire thing, and now he just conveys a pitiable expression; he feels sorry for his obviously closeted boss. Back in the Wikerly Federal Prison, this time in a dark jail cell, it's nighttime and the inmates are meant to be fast asleep. Tyson Jepsen, however, simply cannot; he's still fixated on what Joe said to him earlier in the day. Cut to Joe speaking to him. "I need you to dig deep, deep into your memories right now. Is there something, ANYTHING that could be helpful?" In the present, these words repeat over and over in Tyson's brain as he continues to think and think. It begins to hurt, even. However, he then turns to a bible that he has laying on the floor next to his ratty old bed, and a memory is triggered... Cut to several months prior, inside a local Wikerly Hills' church. Tyson is among a group of people appearing to be waiting to start to begin a bible class. The nun in charge lets out a sigh. "Anytime now," she says, eyeing the clock. Tyson speaks up that he can go see what's taking so long, and the nun motions that he do so. Exiting the church, Tyson makes his way out to the parking lot where he finds Jose Sanchez taking a phone call. "Of course you will pay," he says to the person on the other line, "that is, unless you want those videos leaked out for the whole entire world to see!" However, he then turns to see Tyson behind him. "I'll call you back," Jose says to the person on the other line, quickly hanging up the phone. He then greets Tyson with a warm smile and goes to hug his friend, apologizing for taking so long; he says it was just business. Tyson is very happy to see Jose and for their bible class to finally get started that he doesn't even bother questioning what sort of "business" a butler could be having in regards to the bit of the conversation he heard. Tyson, back in prison, quickly leans up in his bed, gasping. "I need to call Joe," he says aloud in panic. "Well, that was the bank," Rena tells Liz as he hangs up his cell phone, "apparently Yas didn't have enough time to touch my money; everything's in order." "Thank God," Liz expresses, "now…" "Now," Rena continues for her, "how 'bout I finally make you that coffee?" "Sounds great," Liz smiles as Rena heads toward the kitchen, then she wonders what his secret is. "Aside from the Colombian beans? Unlike Justine, I actually rinse the pot," he reveals. Liz laughs, commenting that she'll probably be up all night now, but Rena assures that he'll stay up with her. "You will?" "Of course," he says, "we're friends, remember?" Liz smiles, and Rena adds, "Besides, with you having saved me from the 'Yasmanian Devil', I totally and completely owe you one." Something then clicks within Liz, and she makes sure to look deep into Rena's eyes as she responds, "Yes… you absolutely do." Rena gulps at the implications of this, uttering, "Liz?" "I thought I told you," she giggles, "it's Mistress Elizabeth. I'll be in the other room when you're ready." As his employer heads into the lounge area of her house, Rena rinses the coffee pot, looking frightful. Unanswered Questions *''Who murdered Jose Sanchez?'' *Why was Jorgio threatening Jose, and vice versa? *What did Jose tell the butlers that they think might be the reason he was killed? *Why was Joe fired from the police force? *Why was Joe abandoned as a baby? *Why did Jorgio steal and smash the security tape? *Who did Justine's heart belong to and how did he betray her? *What was the situation surrounding Ben's past relationship? *What did Jose find out about Joanna? Was it her affairs, or something else? *Why do the Del Barrios keep chained-up women in their basement? *'Why can't Joanna seem to remember her and Matthew's wedding?' *'Who was Jose blackmailing via the use of videos, and what did these videos depict?' Category:Season 1 Episodes